I had a relationship with a girl, BEFORE.
I don't want to lie or hide it. Actually, I never lied about it or hide it in the first place.
But, it is something I AM NOT ASHAMED OF OR NEITHER PROUD OF. - there's a difference.
I am completely straight now, but all those studies of psychologists on the environment affecting one's behavior or sexuality, is definitely true. My sister, friends, and people I grew up with were the factors. I am not blaming anyone here, because at the end of the day it was my decision, but it is just that I don't want to be judged on why I chose to be that.
I do regret it, because either ways you turn it, it is not socially accepted and right. (That's a fact. So, I apologize to the lesbians and gays reading this, I am not an anti, ok?) But it was my past, and I can't run away from it because it will keep haunting me. Just like now..
Yes, it is a secret for me- a HUGE one. But I am ready to spill it out to the right people, in the right place and in the right time.
Those who were once like me, would understand that it is hard to choose the people to say it with. And even the right situations to say it out loud. Because it is a matter of being accepted -which is inevitable in this judgemental society.
It is just so sad that, that this part of me was used in a laughing situation. It would have been ok when those people around were not strangers, but a lot of them were. Moreover, they are those people who shouldn't even know.
Maybe I should have reacted negatively to make them feel I was not ok with the jokes, but I am not that person who would kill the fun for my own sake. And maybe because I expected those people to have not done that anyway.
Lastly, I just HOPE they had a great laugh and felt contented with someone's humiliation.
