THAT THING CALLED..

In my desire to write something for Valentine's last year, which could have been my first ever love day with someone special, but turned out to be a total wreck. I dreamt of bouquet of red roses, candlelit dinner and romantic gazes, but I woke up to screaming, bad breath from the kebab food and a relationship falling apart. A year after, it still is traumatic for me. Every single person, especially those who just got their hearts broken, dreads this so-called "love month." But I swear I don't. I will forever be a fan of a celebrated love - mad, genuine and shouted one. So yeah, I am not bitter this year to clear my point. *haha*

Who wants to be lonely? NOT ME. Noone. I suppose. I like being alone of having my own space and time to escape from the stress. But lonely is a desperate feeling of longing and ends up failing. There I find the importance of Valentine's Day in our calendars because it reminds everyone how blessed life is having a partner with you.  Not having a romantic partner made me a single prepared last week. I went to see my friends back in my former work, baking at my friend's house, went to an orphanage with friends, and attended our Saturday singles' ministry. These activities, of course, taught me that I am exempted from loneliness..

1. I kept great friends from my former workplace I can run to anytime.

2. Exploring a hobby, that interested me for so long, is possible with a help from a friend.

3. I don't have any excuse to ever think that I am lonely and left out, because these babies experienced such unknowingly yet shows the true meaning of HOPE. 

4. To have him is enough. I am never, ever lonely.

So this movie, That Thing Called Tadhana, has made a massive trend for weeks now. I have to say that it deserves all the rave reviews and blockbuster fame it is getting. If you think about it, it has a very simple plot, being that it is an indie film with modest setting and only two characters. That's the beauty of TTCT, and of all indie films, is showing real and unpretentious emotions without being complicated. Spot on. Cut-through. I really had a serious hangover about this movie that I couldn't stop talking about the "hugot" lines and scenes! It was very relatable like hearing yourself on the big screen because at some point in our lives, we have said their lines. Those painful lines that may sound funny now, but actually, aches deep down when recalled.

Many has spoken about the tragic heartbreak side of the movie. Of getting yourself hurt big time and wanting to forget about it as soon as possible. Felt that too. I want to dig deep in the dramatic scenes and "hugot lines" of the movie because there are so many good ones, though with my Vday realizations, this movie fits what I learned. Broken hearts go where it is not lonely. The journey of hurting, healing and moving on is done with someone. It may be a family, friend or someone new. Looking back on my own experience, I am grateful to have tons of lovely hearts beside me in those dark days. 

I may haven't waken up from to that romantic hearts day dreams of mine. It remains a deep, HOPEFUL desire. Every day or moment gives us an opportunity to create new memories to cover up for the previous one. 12 months later, I have proven that I got over the trauma. I can now sleep again in peace in the HOPES of waking up to a better one with someone in the perfect time. 

"There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same twice" - F.Scott Fitzgerald.

MT. BATULAO

2015 Goals: Climb 2 mountains - 1 down! \m/

February started out remarkably because of this hiking adventure. Since my climb at Pico de Loro last year, I felt very inspired to be more adventurous. There are a lot adventurous activities but there is this overwhelming fulfillment I found in the mountains. It is frightening, physically risky and dangerous, hence, one must be fully fit, unafraid and prepared for the uncertain. So, if you are able to do it - you deserve huge kudos!

The long hours of hiking is made even more difficult by your heavy bag, steep and slippery slopes, and heat. Then, your reach the highest peak to stay for only an hour or less, then go back down again for the same long, difficult hike. One will ask: is it worth it? For me, absolutely.

First, you get to see the beauty of God's creation that only few can. It is both a privilege and a blessing to be physically capable to do such thing. It is true that the view from the top is better - on the context of seeing nature unexploited. Second, you feel nothing but proud about yourself. After all the struggles, even if you thought about quitting countless of times, but you never really did stop. The motivation and extra hand from your friends was a big help, but you get the major credit for all of it. Without your determination mixed with personal strength, it would not be possible for you to finish it. The thought of accomplishing something difficult is really fulfilling. 

I felt the same thing on my 2nd climb experience at Mt. Batulao. The trail was completely different from Pico de Loro - Mt. Batulao's is open, narrow and a lot of going up and down. I find it more challenging because aside from scary high abyss on both sides, you have to fight through the strong winds and soil dust hitting you. There time you don't have anything to hold on to, so you have to keep a strong ground. It was a first for me to do rope rappelling.

Though, for me, no adventures are the same. We organized the climb on our own instead of paying a travel group. I highly recommend to do it that way because it is WAY CHEAPER - I spent less than Php 500 on this. Luckily, we knew a pro mountaineer, Karl Serrano, who was our climb hero. I went with my high school best friends Tin and Mikka, then invited a college friend, Kandis; also, Karl invited his officemates to join, making us a huge group. As much as I enjoyed my solo trip two weeks before, it is more wonderful to share an adventure with close friends. You get to replace the struggles with humor and you feel totally safe. 

But there was one thing I learned about myself on this one, it is that I have trust issues! A little on myself but more on others. This kind of adventure made me believe in myself more, however, there are still instances, even if I see others doing it so easily, when fear strikes, it takes a lot of self-convincing before I take the jump. More so, trusting my life to others. I found it hard to be dependent when someone says "give me both your hands." I never give it on the first persuasion. So, I start to think that this rooted from the previous betrayal done to me. But actually, I don't find anything wrong with it. It just proves that I have learned my lesson to be more cautious on people and their motives. I proved that I am becoming more independent, not introvert, and faithful to noone but the Higher Being alone. 

It is just the second month of the year yet I have achieved pretty much a handful meaningful goals. 2015 has been treating me nicely. I am even more excited to unravel what's next. Though I told myself that I am taking this year a day at a time. I am now looking at life on the perspective of living in the moment and letting the daily current take you away. 

Next up?

JE NE SUIS PAS CHARLIE

I guess everyone knew about the recent Charlie Hebdo terrorist attack in Paris that made global headlines and elicited so many opinions from everywhere. "Je suis Charle" became trending as a way of showing support in condemning terrorism. It may have not happened in our country but it sure is the concern of the entire world. Surprisingly, I saw myself tuning in to CNN & BBC on wee hours just for updates on how or where it will all end (which resulted to a broken TV after 2 days). 

There are so many issues encompassing the incident, though I will focus here on is Freedom of Speech - that was also triggered by the recent Bottomline episode in ABS CBN hosted by Boy Abunda. The discourse began on a broad view of what happened, then led to a hardcore debate about freedom of speech. Since they invited guests like  a human rights activist, a seasoned lawyer and a journalism professor, definitely there was a clash of ideas. And by the end, they were divided to two: one who supports the publication, and the skeptic. I tried hard to listen to every guest's arguments, each citing provisions and examples as their basis. 

Bottomline: I am not Charlie. I am for ethical journalism.

With lack of law knowledge, I am not really the best person to say my opinion on this (claiming it already). But hey, I have my freedom of speech, right? 

Freedom is a very complex word as it denotes exemptions and no restrictions. Such thing is subject to each person's interpretation. For me, freedom of speech / expression is an abused and abusive right. Why? Because it's an excuse to everything (just like what I did above). And I find it very silly. Don't get me wrong. I hold dear my every right as a person, as citizen to this country. My freedom of speech/expression is something important for me, though isn't that when you are given something, for free or without any cost, you should be modest on how you will use it. That's why I am for RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM as how the professor explained it. 

He said, responsible journalism is guarded by ethical standards. It is having a clear eye on what is right from wrong, and choosing the right over the wrong. True: identifying what is moral or immoral is highly subjective. So, as they say, I have all the means of being what I want to. No question, I am on that idea. That is our freedom. As much as we have our personal beliefs, that doesn't give us the freedom to question others, more so to mock them. Why? Simply because it is theirs, not ours. That's why dispute starts, we focus too much on criticizing than respecting. Why can't we live in our own nutshells? 

And so the activist questions (as always), where is freedom of speech if journalism is restricted? It is not restricting, it is having a sense of responsibility. What grown ups clearly know of. I believe writers / media are given those skills for purpose and I am pretty sure it is not to harm others. RIGHT? So the activist will say, they are there to spark arguments. So I ask, that will lead to? Never ending arguments still. Is that the kind of situation we want - pure of thought battles? Because we all know it doesn't solve anything, nor for one side to concede. I stand for responsible journalism that stands for his / her opinion. That's why I am not Charlie, I clearly don't get the point of mocking others for the pleasure of "because I can". 

Isn't our (the world) goal to have peace? Yes, it is! Positivity may not be enough now, but it's nice to believe it will happen. In my opinion, it will happen if we focus on protecting our own rights rather than destroying others. The world may never unite but we may live in peace with supreme understanding of each other. It is so ideal but very simple. 

So there, I practiced my freedom of speech - responsibly.