HUMILITY

Only a few trusted people may know what I went and still going through right now - family, friends and matters of the heart. It's been an epic half of the year - in a tragic way though. I have never felt to worthless and insecure about myself.

I have been asking 'Why me? Why are people doing this to me? What have I done wrong? I have been very nice and simple, why do I need to go through this pain?'

After the renewed weekend, I have realized that these struggles I am overcoming are blessings. It has thought me so much about HUMILITY.

I have always said I am humble because I keep the great things in my life simple. Seldom do I brag. But I guess I was put to a humility test - to accept that the circumstances these past months were to teach me more about life. I am truly humbled that it is beyond not doing nasty or not being mean to others that you are being a good person, being good is constantly being kind to even in the lowest of lows. And moreover, see the positive in every situation. And in the chaos, you keep your silence even if you have the choice to revenge. It takes a lot of effort to be humble.

I am still praying for a bigger kind of humility which is to FORGIVE. I am now healing and throwing all the hatred away. I am at a point that I am doing just fine and dont care at all anymore. But the renewed weekend I went through is for a purpose - to move forward by having a clear heart and mind. I am deeply praying for the right time that I can finally be at peace, might not be friends anymore, but live in absolute forgiveness.

RENEWED WEEKEND

So just when I thought it was all done, the saga still continued this week. After 3 months of going through the toughest pain my heart can carry, and finally getting healed, there were still secrets that were revealed. (which I wont go on telling here, because it's not my story to tell and a righteous thing to destroy people). I havent felt betrayed, disgusted and hate someone so bad. But after the revelation, all I ever did was get over it and told myself ENOUGH, MOVE ON, SURRENDER IT TO GOD.

That's what I exactly did - turn to God for complete healing. I really believed that everything that happened was part of His greater plan for me to realize His love is beyond everything.

I had an awesome spiritual weekend. I attended tha Singles Ministry at CCF where I met amazing new friends and learned from their testimonies. I felt like I was in a counselling group wherein I was able to share my anxieties and everyone made me feel that everything will be fine in God's time. Then on Sunday morning, I attended a service/worship at New Life Alabang wherein it was over 1 hour of singing praise to Him. It was too overwhelming that I was crying buckets! I even braved to go up front to be touched by the pastors. I have never felt this so much ease and happy heart for quite some time. God paved the way for me to renew my faith and beyond being kind, I need to believe in a higher good.

I am not claiming to be holy or religious. I just feel joyful and slowly feeling content with the ups and downs of my life. It's a new beginning for me. All is well, it is well.

GOOD BYE

Goodbye for real now. 

Thank you for everything - good and bad. 

Sorry if there things I havent apologized for. 

This is officially the end of us. Accepted.