Only a few trusted people may know what I went and still going through right now - family, friends and matters of the heart. It's been an epic half of the year - in a tragic way though. I have never felt to worthless and insecure about myself.
I have been asking 'Why me? Why are people doing this to me? What have I done wrong? I have been very nice and simple, why do I need to go through this pain?'
After the renewed weekend, I have realized that these struggles I am overcoming are blessings. It has thought me so much about HUMILITY.
I have always said I am humble because I keep the great things in my life simple. Seldom do I brag. But I guess I was put to a humility test - to accept that the circumstances these past months were to teach me more about life. I am truly humbled that it is beyond not doing nasty or not being mean to others that you are being a good person, being good is constantly being kind to even in the lowest of lows. And moreover, see the positive in every situation. And in the chaos, you keep your silence even if you have the choice to revenge. It takes a lot of effort to be humble.
I am still praying for a bigger kind of humility which is to FORGIVE. I am now healing and throwing all the hatred away. I am at a point that I am doing just fine and dont care at all anymore. But the renewed weekend I went through is for a purpose - to move forward by having a clear heart and mind. I am deeply praying for the right time that I can finally be at peace, might not be friends anymore, but live in absolute forgiveness.
