"Pare, I will be straight-forward. I LOVE YOUR BLOG!"
It was the gloomy day for my alter ego - this blog. It once again faced a controversy - it always do actually. I will not write down what had happened because I am certain that many are looking out for this new post. I did sound bratty, but I know they are there keenly waiting for this. Sorry to disappoint them, but I wont blog that nasty happening because I surely got the pot of gold with a friend's call.
(Wait for my anniversary blog, stalkers. You will get what you want. I PROMISE!)
His call made my night into a shiny day! It is true, when the heavens and the earth just fall down to you, someone will be coming to lift you up. And my PARE did. I kept myself from not feeling guilty that night, but I have to be honest, those comments affected me. Why? Because the "writer" is being accused of being a hater and not by being a friend. It was tough to battle the guilt with my conscience. But his call made me feel I am so right.
I FEEL SOOOO RIGHT.
He is my closest guy friend - that is how I described him to be. I sincerely missed him because we don't get to talk a lot lately. He was the first guy I felt comfortable with and I know he will stick with me through thick and thin. But things changed. We got our own priorities and stuff to get busy with. And I am happy with where he is now, and I know he feels the same way too.
HIS CALL. I now had a first-hand experience with "it is when you're in deep trouble that true friends will come running." And he did. He just said all that I need to hear to bring down all those tears.
You may have a lot of friends backing you up and cheering for you, but it feels greater to have those true friends who sticks with you because you are right. And when they comfort you silently in times you don't publicly beg them to.
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PART II.
I gained another guy friend last week and lost him last night.
He is an awesome guy. Independent on his young age, he earns his own money to pay his needs and debts. Cool and laid-back personality that every person would love to hang out with. He can be anyone's best friend. And I have to say he has a great singing voice. Actually, I admire him, especially his personality. Who would not?
He is in a complicated relationship. He loves her girl so much but they could not work it out.
And so I came in the scene. We became chatmates, textmates, phonemates, etc! We just talk everyday. Our communication suddenly became a summer habit. I would never deny the fact that I enjoy his company, especially when my summer is getting boring and bum.
So last night, he confessed he likes me - and there is where we end. I don't know what came into me but I just did not like that truth. From the start, I was feeling that he was already getting attached but I don't want to jump into conclusions yet, because I trusted him that he wouldn't be the boyfriend-who-found-another-girl-while-they-are-not-in-good-terms. I made a very bold move, I just automatically decided that we don't talk - forever?
I did say some mean words to him last night and I do apologize. The mean HOPE was triggered because he was the normal insisting boy that he is, which really makes me annoyed. When I said, he was disrespectful, I stand with it. He did not respect the fact that he has a girlfriend. Maybe they are not in good terms but he is still in a relationship. Respect for me too. He should have stopped himself from thinking he likes me or feeling that way because he already knows me. He knows that I wont like this kind of drama to happen. And he should not let me be dragged as a reason for a more complicated relationship.
I feel guilty because I might have gave him reasons to fall for me, but all I wanted was someone to talk with. He came and he even understood me more than anything else.
But I was thinking, maybe he just missed the idea of having a girlfriend. I just wish he just agreed when I said that.
Honestly, I don't want to lose him. This day is another beginning of a lonely summer because I just lost the only person interested to hear my voice and spend 3:00am's on phone. But sometimes, we just have to let those things that make us happy because we know it would be a huge mistake sticking them around.
And there, I just made the quickest decision of letting go of someone. Mean yet mature.
