The story goes on. Well, I was well briefed that it's an incurable condition or just a controlled one. But what I wasn't ready for was how it's getting more and more complicated. Complicated in a sense that in only a few months, more complications arise.
Symptom:
A month ago, in a retreat again, my blood pressure shoot up to 150/80 while I was just sitting comfortably and listening to a sermon about the Cross at 8pm. I forgot my meds (again) and unwillingly, became a burden once again to my siblings in Christ. I went to see my doctor after 3 months of hiatus (which should be a monthly check up) and there she concluded that I'm not getting any better despite my medications. So, I underwent new lab tests again to check if there were further complications in me.
Results:
I have multiple polyps in my gall bladder but are not so critical nor malignant. Although, the growth needs to be closely monitored or else my gall bladder should be removed. Next diagnose was I have an alarming high level of cholesterol. This was a surprise because few months ago, my cardio concluded it was manageable then and that my hypertension is from high level of salt. So I controlled my salt intake and took my meds regularly. It must be noted as well that I have fat burning activities because I do intense workout weekly.
Prescription:
Maintenance medicines increased to 4 (from 1 to 3 to 2) and a strict instruction to avoid high-cholesterol food for 3 months. Let me break down this heartbreaking news. As I have mentioned time and time again, I have a huge fear on anything medical related that I grew up, spending 25 years of my life, resisting taking meds. Both a deliberate choice and proven illness. I am not a fatty or oily food eater, although I confess having obsession on icecream, pizza, cream-based pasta, eggs and fried chicken. And all these fall on the prohibited list. How heartbreaking.
Treatment:
It has been 7 months since God gave this "torn in my flesh." I must say, without His all sufficient grace, I would have blustered and sank myself in pity again. My bible verse in this area of my life, 2 Corinthians 12:9, has kept my on my feet and faith. Worries and doubts sneak in me, but it's really true that when you make His double-edged word your weapon the battle ends right away. (Hebrews 4:12)
It's true that it's easier said than done. I am just on day one of abstaining on my well-loved food and indulging on my most hated thing, and it might really get tougher as the day goes. I will never know the temptations ahead and when or how my flesh will tickle me. Although, this I believe (and encourage you reading this), our God is sovereign and good all the time. He has the perfect control of my (our) situation that I rested in the fact that this is from Him and it's all for my good. This kind of peace is something I won't trade for lies of the evil one.
I also have a new appreciation for Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who live Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Emphasis on the "who have been called according to His purpose" - my situation could be a huge surprise to many, especially my childhood friends who knew how vulnerable I am on medicines or hospitals. That exactly overwhelms me to have another life testimony of God's faithfulness. It is a humbling journey so far and it feels like it going to take longer or a lifetime. So I'll keep writing and sharing to make the most out of this huge opportunity of bringing Him glory.
All from and for Him.
