Sitting in a corner of a noisy coffee shop, looking at the face of each crowd - wondering why they are storming up a should-be-quiet cafe on a Sunday night, it got me thinking why am I also out here? Alone?
In everything that we do, places we go to, words we say, and expressions we make, there is a big WHY in all of it. "Life is all about choices" - this fact will never go down the drain. Our lives are driven by choices we make or didn't make. There are a lot of things we can't control (yes) that may affect our current situations (yes), however, in the end we still have the choice to be affected or not. The dead end only happens as we die in the end. Does that makes sense? Our daily decisions build up to the weekly, yearly and our entire stay in this temporal earth. Our moment by moment decisions are motivated by a bigger decision. So, there is definitely an answer to my earlier question which is another question: what is my purpose?
Last year at the retreat, where I fully committed my life to Jesus, we were asked to set our biblical visions in life. With all honesty, I was lazy enough to take it seriously. Little did I know that in a few months, I will answer the call of discipleship. It's a decision that I never regretted and I am sure I won't ever. I have never been so caring to people I just met for a short time, I have never invested so much on serious and personal issues of someone, and I have never been so mindful of my decisions as it will reflect on them in other ways possible. Then, there came opportunities for me to be a vessel of His word. May it be in the workplace or with friends, it always humbles me to my knees to know that I am being used for God's glory. And in the church service earlier, the message hit through me. It talked about John the Baptist, who was an ordinary man like any of us, but used extraordinarily for the audience of One.
Wiping my tears through the closing prayer and worship, God affirmed me that I (all of us actually) are to live for the purpose of His glory on earth. It sounds prophetical, evangelical and over-the-top (especially to those who maybe wandering still in the field), but the amazing 2 years of my walk was never about MY decision. My choices were nothing but a speck of dust to His sovereignty. Yes, I still do have control over my body, thoughts and actions, but what I realized is that when we truly grasp the idea of accepting Christ in our lives, our moment by moment choice becomes an entirely 1 purpose - to glorify Him in our lives. Our uniqueness make our application of this purpose different from one another. Having this in mind, it spark the desire in my heart to legitimize my life's unique purpose in His body. And as they say, if it's not on Facebook, it's not official; but as for me, blogging something makes it official and important.
Taking into account the journey of being in a relationship with God, I am confident now of what I want to do for the rest of my life. The bible verse above fits perfectly it - to witness changed lives of a rusty relationship to a clingy relationship with God (insert hearts here). On a personal note, there's this unexplained and explosive joy in my heart to hear testimonies of changed lives by God's grace. I love listening to brokenness - weird, right? But maybe that is where I could connect my name, HOPE, because it gets me more excited to see what and how God fixes it. The idea is not being a reason for change or photobomb that picture-perfect change, but I guess, this is how God designed me to be - to get energy from being accountable to people.
I have mentioned a lot of times the biggest point of improvement in my character which is patience. And to realize that witnessing lives changed, gives me so much fulfillment, is truly a cure to it. This gives me chills! How amazing is God's hand to mold my character to be ever pleasing to Him; to align my desires and goals to be more Christ-like.
If you'll ask me how I get to be a "witness"? Do I wait and sit around? Well, that's not how it works. As Jesus said above, I will never know His timeline, but I have to step out of my comfort zones and share Him. Making disciples and proclaiming Him is everyone's responsibility actually. My strategy in doing this is creating small groups in every possible areas that I am in - church, family, workplace, friends and wherever next. I find joy in gathering people, studying His word and discovering its life's application. It could be in a group or being in a usual company of a friend.
To see myself at this point, it truly humbles me to get it all figured out. It's definitely not from my own wisdom, but God's grace that changed my life completely. I am 100% sure it will do the same for each person who will accept it. It is written, it is finished.
Just to share, I wrote the first half of this blog the following day in a different coffee shop - a more quiet one. Across the room is a group of ladies (who seem to be followers of Christ, yay!), are praying deeply but one of them is clearly not paying attention. Her eyes are open and wandering around without interest to the petition. It strickens my heart a bit. With no judgements, this lady is a proof of the need for more witnesses. So, sitting alone in a corner, I am purposefully blogging as a way to pledge my commitment to His work.
All from and for Him.
