"For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts" 1 Thessalonians 2:4
Part of my 2015 goals is a stronger relationship with my God through commitment in my DGroup, participation in Saturday Singles Ministry, Sunday Services at CCF, attend the retreat, and faithfully reading the bible. I feel so blessed that CCF has an annual prayer fasting week activity for January 5-10 - a good way to start the year. In my likeness to participate, I learned that I had to sacrifice one, great thing in my daily routine, wherein I chose to have only 1 full meal a day, give up my beloved iced tea, sweets, or any other pleasures like going to malls, coffee shops and other unnecessary spending. We were provided with a booklet with passages to read, reflection points and prayer guide. I am now on my last day, actually even just on the 1st day, I have learned so many things in this 6-day spiritual immersion.
I am human and there is God. Eating only 1 meal a day really took a toll in me - physically. Prayer fasting is not an excuse to rest. I needed to go to work, comprehend on so many things, face the temptations of the world and only get 4-hours of sleep. There I knew I am a weak person, and found the essence of fasting. In my weakest moments, I turned to prayer. Some may say it's all in the mind, but every plea of sustaining me throughout the day, I found an unexplained strength to get thru the day. I realized His power is so great and that we are nothing without Him.
To speak about Him, is to know Him truthfully. There is only one way of being getting to know Him, it is through the bible. I have a long way to go, but I will get there.
Prayer in everything. This fasting taught me to be spiritual. To seek Him, not just on a daily basis, but in every situation. I also learned to be selfless, to pray for each of my loved ones and even those I don't know but who definitely needed it the most. And, that prayer is so powerful. Answers may not happen now or exactly, but God listens.
I am blessed. As I can still eat one full meal a day, while others can't even consume water. Appreciating my life even more now, for the comfort and pleasures I get to enjoy. My thirst to help others has grown. It would be another desire to help the less fortunate people very soon.
God loves me. That one fact is just enough. It is written in His word, I felt it tremendously these past 6 days, and His promise of a fulfilling life is a testament to it.
Faith without action is definitely nothing. For I know Him more now, means I already have the responsibility of sharing Him to others. I may not feel be the most religious-looking person, or not given by the Holy Spirit the gift of evangelizing, though I know it is every Christian's purpose to call on more people to walk with Christ. And I knew God spoke to me to that I have the resources to do so - that is to tell my story. Of how I found Him, He is working in me and my growing commitment to Him.
10 January 2015
03 January 2015
WHAT'S YOUR PURPOSE?
Just few weeks ago, my heart had the strangest desire to MOVE OUT. As I ponder on it, it grew even more to just ignore. Then I had a vision of two scenarios: moving out of the house or moving out of the country. The initial scenario was not a practical decision, since I reside near my work, and I would want to save the cost of spending for my own place instead. The latter one seemed to be more than a sudden thought, rather a message from the Lord.
Praying and reflecting, I recalled how my relationship with God renewed last year. How He worked in me, to finally surrender everything and follow Him. I learned that God doesn't give signs; His words are clear, it speaks to you in different forms of blessings.
So, I was able to enumerate circumstances which could lead to possibly moving out. I may be known for being a severe over-thinker, but I know He was talking to me in all these circumstances. I could justify it all but publishing it might kill the momentum (HAHA), but I will vaguely go through some to make more sense.
First, last year made me more independent, by going to everyday living for myself and depending life only to God. I have proven that I can survive a day, doing chores (well, still except laundry), errands and work by myself. Next, the breakup which was probably one of the clear messages. I have blogged about it before that I had the option to go abroad with my mom last 2013, but I was too in love with my relationship which hindered it. So, when I got my heart broken, I learned one vital thing: to be less attached on people and things, but only with God. Also, I am such a clingy person, especially with friends, but I meet a lot of people from different places, that I felt more confident of never feeling lonely any time. Being less attached fired me up to being fearless. The next one I guessed would be the push factor, having a job in Marriott, which is an international brand. Actually, during my interview, when I was being told that Marriott opens a lot of doors of opportunity especially in different countries, and I got confused that I thought I was being hired in a hotel abroad - but not, just panicked. (lol). But then again, that career opportunity is a truth proven for years, which is smart step if considered. Next, I have shared that I had the toughest and darkest times last year. I am definitely fine now, however I know, I still need a fresh start. I am healed from the pain and fulfilled with my work, but deep down I am in a gray area. Actually , I have figured a few more revelations, but are quite petty that better be told a friend only. (wink)
When I felt it, I really got excited, but I knew it's something I need some serious thinking, because there are still loopholes: 1) Where do I begin? What's the first step? Still waiting for that opportunity because it's a no-joke kind of risk; 2) Am I really ready, in all aspects - physically, emotionally, and spiritually?; 3) Most importantly, what would be my purpose? I know this isn't a financial urgency to reason out work. And, not to live a little girl's "American dream" of sort. I am taking this maturely. And if it's God plan for me, it should be of a higher purpose, a Christ-like one.
This feeling has ruled over me as 2014 ended. Just starting the year, in our weekly Singles Ministry, a faithful attendance is part of 2015 goals, the message was beyond a coincidence. I wasn't suppose to go but I some urgency that I needed to be there. One of our ministry leaders, Bro. Nano, shared how God spoke to him about him leaving the country for work next month. Of all the topics, right?!? Was crying the whole time hearing his testimony, and felt inspired that God is speaking to me.
As I told two friends, who gave wise advice, I will make this year very productive. Making myself more competent, secured and worthy when that move is made concrete. I have so much in my plate this year, like I will be better in so many ways. Definitely, I want to leave the country, though I need firm steps to do that.
2015 really excites me. I have never felt this hopeful about a year - of discovering the mysteries of each day, then eventually unfolding the message by the end of the year. With desire, effort and faith, I will find that purpose.
Praying and reflecting, I recalled how my relationship with God renewed last year. How He worked in me, to finally surrender everything and follow Him. I learned that God doesn't give signs; His words are clear, it speaks to you in different forms of blessings.
So, I was able to enumerate circumstances which could lead to possibly moving out. I may be known for being a severe over-thinker, but I know He was talking to me in all these circumstances. I could justify it all but publishing it might kill the momentum (HAHA), but I will vaguely go through some to make more sense.
First, last year made me more independent, by going to everyday living for myself and depending life only to God. I have proven that I can survive a day, doing chores (well, still except laundry), errands and work by myself. Next, the breakup which was probably one of the clear messages. I have blogged about it before that I had the option to go abroad with my mom last 2013, but I was too in love with my relationship which hindered it. So, when I got my heart broken, I learned one vital thing: to be less attached on people and things, but only with God. Also, I am such a clingy person, especially with friends, but I meet a lot of people from different places, that I felt more confident of never feeling lonely any time. Being less attached fired me up to being fearless. The next one I guessed would be the push factor, having a job in Marriott, which is an international brand. Actually, during my interview, when I was being told that Marriott opens a lot of doors of opportunity especially in different countries, and I got confused that I thought I was being hired in a hotel abroad - but not, just panicked. (lol). But then again, that career opportunity is a truth proven for years, which is smart step if considered. Next, I have shared that I had the toughest and darkest times last year. I am definitely fine now, however I know, I still need a fresh start. I am healed from the pain and fulfilled with my work, but deep down I am in a gray area. Actually , I have figured a few more revelations, but are quite petty that better be told a friend only. (wink)
When I felt it, I really got excited, but I knew it's something I need some serious thinking, because there are still loopholes: 1) Where do I begin? What's the first step? Still waiting for that opportunity because it's a no-joke kind of risk; 2) Am I really ready, in all aspects - physically, emotionally, and spiritually?; 3) Most importantly, what would be my purpose? I know this isn't a financial urgency to reason out work. And, not to live a little girl's "American dream" of sort. I am taking this maturely. And if it's God plan for me, it should be of a higher purpose, a Christ-like one.
This feeling has ruled over me as 2014 ended. Just starting the year, in our weekly Singles Ministry, a faithful attendance is part of 2015 goals, the message was beyond a coincidence. I wasn't suppose to go but I some urgency that I needed to be there. One of our ministry leaders, Bro. Nano, shared how God spoke to him about him leaving the country for work next month. Of all the topics, right?!? Was crying the whole time hearing his testimony, and felt inspired that God is speaking to me.
As I told two friends, who gave wise advice, I will make this year very productive. Making myself more competent, secured and worthy when that move is made concrete. I have so much in my plate this year, like I will be better in so many ways. Definitely, I want to leave the country, though I need firm steps to do that.
2015 really excites me. I have never felt this hopeful about a year - of discovering the mysteries of each day, then eventually unfolding the message by the end of the year. With desire, effort and faith, I will find that purpose.
01 January 2015
NEW YEAR, NEW BLOG?
Not deleting this one, certainly. Will just do some layout adjustments (as if, drastic). I am telling you now, it wouldn't be interestingly creative in layout, since I will just be choosing from the default themes. Just better.
The "change in me" new year feeling, urges me to revamp the blog - a New Year's Resolution.
A brain-juice-demanding work has inspired me to write even more to practice my grammar, communication and flair in writing.
WILL REALLY, REALLY TRY to get this blog UPDATED as much as possible. Target posts include book insights, food reviews, travel diary, huge encounters, and random emotions.
2015 excites me. It will really be an amazing year, for me and my blog.
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