FALLEN EMPIRES

Snow Patrol: Fallen Empires Live Tour in Manila August 09, 2012 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum.

All I wanted just sped right past me, while I was rooting fast to the earth. I could be stuck here for a thousand years without your arms to drag me out. (Signal Fire)

I am certain with songs I listen to. It depends on the lyrics, tune and relativity of it to my mood or emotions. Mainstream or indie band it's the song that matters. It is rare that I learn to love most of the songs of a certain artist and band. But I found one band whose songs make me cry, reflect and fall in love every single time, like it's the first time I've heard it.

SNOW PATROL, you are the only resolution and the only joy.


And it all made sense, I've waited here for you forever, I've waited here for you forever. (In The End)

Last summer, the news already broke that they were coming here in Manila for a concert! I have savings from allowances and graduation gifts. But I told myself it will be on August, I can save up again when I get a job. But getting a job wasn't as easy as people expected from me. I may have outstanding grades and leadership background as an advantage, but with all honesty, I was at my lowest moment these past 5 months finding a decent job. I have bags of stories of my job hunting adventures but in the end, nothing seems to be easy.

So, I made a promise with my good friend/job hunting partner, who loves Snow Patrol as well, that when we get hired before August, we will watch the SNOW PATROL concert. We take this concert as a challenge that we will exhaust a lot of effort in finding a job, not just solely for the concert's sake, but because we as individuals need to get employed soon. Also, the concert would be the ULTIMATE REWARD for all the physical, mental and emotional stress and exhaustion we had for the past 5 months.

We just wanted to hear our favorite band, especially Gary, to perform live our favorite songs from their band - and there are a lot of 'em!


Just give me a sign, there's an end not beginning to the quiet chaos driving me mad (New York)

Just last week, I got hired by a large and well-known company and had a position that I am forever grateful. This Monday was my first day at work. So, it's days before the concert, since I stopped believing in sign, I  guess God must have answered my prayers - this is what I deserve. I want to believe that I deserve this concert. And even my partner got a job a week ago.

YAHOO! We were supposed to buy our tickets last Monday - Upper Box B only though. But because of the heavy rains, we postponed it and decided to buy on the venue on Thursday instead. But least we and the entire Filipino community expected that night is the start of the one of the most horrible calamity to happen in our country.

More than 70% of Metro Manila (National Capital Region) and provinces in Luzon are extremely flooded, thousands of families lost their homes and are forced to evacuate; stranded cars and hungry individuals in unsafe areas; and as I type, more and more people are dying because of disease, landslide and drowned in flood - all caused by this southwest monsoon rains. 


Why would I sabotage the best thing that I have. Well it makes it easier to know what exactly what I want with my HANDS OPEN (Hands Open)

I have read in the tweets of the band esp with the lead vocalist's account that they are very much aware of the awful situation in our country. I am glad they are sending their concern and love for us Filipinos. They are foreigners and they have this strong sympathy, what more do I, as a Filipino, feel for my kababayans?

Just hours ago, handful of cities declared they are in state of calamity. This is definitely heartbreaking. Anyone would sympathize and empathize by just reading tweets of rescue or watching 2 hour news focused only on this.


We are listening, we are not blind. This is your life, this is your time. (Called Out In The Dark)

It's my conscience that can't bear spending more than a thousand for a concert, shouting and having fun for my heart's desire while people are at their roofs hugging themselves for heat. That is way too selfish.

I am not saying those who will watch are selfish, they have bought their tickets and it would be a waste of money to give it up. Maybe it's coincidence or what, but the bad weather last Monday that stopped me from buying my tickets is a wake-up call to see the worst and best things in life. This tragedy is the worst that could ever happen to someone, and me being safe and dry at home during these times is the best blessing. And blessings are supposed to be shared.

Snow Patrol Concert here in Manila may come once in my lifetime, they might never record a new album and go back on tour BUT there are thousands of lives who need help now more than ever. I am sure the two thousand pesos can go along way.


Give me chance to hold on, give me something to hold onto (You Are All I Have)

I wont lie, I shed a tear when we finally decided not to push through with tomorrow. It's not easy to sacrifice something you have long wanted and waited for, and to let it go when finally had the chance to is just heartbreaking. I think I am allowed to be sad tonight til tomorrow night and lock myself in my room as their songs play in my iPod. But that doesn't mean I am half hearted with my intentions to give it up to help others, the fulfillment and joy after doing those is more than what a concert could bring.

This is the power of my name - HOPE - I will still have the "Watch the Snow Patrol Concert Live" on my bucket list because I am positive that maybe, someday it will happen. And by that time, our country has risen from this devastation, we are stronger than ever and are already jumping while singing their songs.


And for that, I believe this is their song for me or reply for my post. HAHA
 BTW, these are just some their best songs. I love themmmmm ♥

Do the things that you always wanted to, 
without me there to hold you back, dont think, just do.
More than anything I want to see you girl,
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world 
- YOU COULD BE HAPPY

Leaving?

29 June 2012 around 8:00 PM

Mom: When will you get a job? I have plans already of staying in Qatar with your father. I am just waiting for you to have a job and be stable so I can start processing the requirements. It will only take me a month."

*silence*

Mom: Or if you want, come with me there? It's a good country with lots of job openings.

ME: NO.

Since that evening, there's not an hour that I didn't thought about - Mom leaving for Qatar. I am filled with negative emotions just by thinking about it. It is not just the thought of my Mom being away from me for the first time, but the other conditions that lies in the matter. 

It's been 3 months of unemployment and I know my mom is quite disappointed with it even if she doesn't express it. I am too. I am bothered as hell! God knows how much I am trying and finding! And only He knows that this too kills my self-esteem. But He greatly knows I am still fighting harder than I thought I could.

I know I won't survive employment without my mom to help me with the requirements for work if needed. So, she is really waiting for me to get a job and then off she flies. 

This is really a HUGE PRESSURE for me. My mom's desire and joy depend on me. How difficult could that be? I am not a good daughter but I am trying to be every single day. My mom has been the most selfless person in my life. Just looking at her every night when she comes home from work, I know she's tired. I want to carry on that exhaustion of hers and give her the well-deserved rest with my dad..

So, I am left with two options to end this agony.

STAY or LEAVE.

"HOPE, please stay." 

Well, this is really what I want. Therefore, I have to find a work IMMEDIATELY. But the past three months hasn't been easy for me because if it was, I'd probably have a job right now. But why do I still want to stay?

Because for me, leaving means quitting. It only proves that I have lost HOPE - the only thing I have with me now. Patriotic as it sounds, but I want to prove that there is HOPE here in my country. I know there is. I want to prove to myself and to others, who have lost that HOPE, that I can survive here. And, I want to prove to everyone who has HOPE in me, that I can succeed right before their eyes. 

There are a lot of things I still want to do here with my family and friends. A lot of places to discover, people to meet and love to find. I want to conquer this country first, before conquering other lands. 

"Try it. Leave with me"

I wouldn't be so bothered like this if I am not considering leaving and working in Qatar. From what is in the news, yes, there are a lot of job opportunities in other countries. And Qatar has been one of the top choices. My dad has been working there since I was little. He already a house and car there. Quite stable and comfortable to call home someday.

I can't stop thinking: What if there is really something there for me? What if my HOPES will turn to reality there? What if I can find happiness there, eventually?

02 July 2012 6:15 PM

Another day passed by without any calls. Another day that is wasted. 

This isn't just a matter of what I want now. It's a matter of choosing what you think is right - a decision I have to do quickly because the clock it ticking fast. 

I am still undecided but I have to make a decision soon. But atleast for now, I have to wipe these tears away, stand up, find a job online or open a newspaper, try my luck, wait, and PRAY. 

           

It definitely is!!! So, please hold on to me too? Make me stay..

"Baby, please don't go. If I wake up tomorrow will you still be there? Baby, please don't go, go, go.."

MOVE

I am back, bloggie!

It's been awhile since I opened this blog, changed the layout, posted something and cared at all.

I have never forgotten about my "own website", well because it's indicated in my Twitter URL description and this is important me, so no worries of neglecting. Just this week, I told myself to get my ass back to blogging again to exercise my brain and muscles (only on the hands though) while I'm bumming around because of unemployment. Finally, I did it! Here I am starting my comeback blog post.

Just to share, few minutes ago, I think I was almost eaten alive by the new interface of BLOGGER! Nothing is really permanent in this world. While twitter is changing its layout every month and Facebook is just changing every second, Blogger is going with the consistent change activity of social media.

I have no plans of making my blog tasteful to the eyes in terms of its layout, but my eyes can't bare seeing those books on the background and the orange motif of my old layout. Maybe that's the reason why few reads my blog and hates it. Anyway, TA-DA! Simple, clean and plain. Like there's no effort added? But I tell you guys, I spend more than 30 minutes finishing it!

When I asked myself why I haven't updated my blog that long, I really don't know why. Honestly, I just got busy and lazy (more of lazy actually). But a lot has happened in the past few months that is why I hate myself for not blogging it down! I won't promise but I will try starting now.

I really want to keep this short. I will just let my next posts tell stories, burst ideas and questions, and share HOPE.

Before I end this, there's just one song that I get inspiration and motivation to keep moving despite the devastation of waiting for the BIG CAREER BREAK.

Dare You To Move by Switchfoot
"I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move, I dare you to move like today never happened.."