GOOD BYE

Goodbye for real now. 

Thank you for everything - good and bad. 

Sorry if there things I havent apologized for. 

This is officially the end of us. Accepted. 

Story - Sunday Worship at CCF Alabang

Hi Blog,

I went to a Christian church today at CCF Alabang because of an invite from a girl friend. I never expected to feel so overwhelmed with the worship and preaching of the pastor. I even cried during the prayer and sang out loud like I know the song forever. But I really felt so good and renewed after hearing the gospel in a deeper but simpler way.

The gospel was talking about letting go of things pulling us down. (How timely, right?) The pastor even prayed that it is only He that can take of our hearts and not hurt us.

With the things that happened these past months, both heart and family problems, I have learned so many things. One of which is to really lift all my worries and anxieties to God. I know I havent let go of some things really, but the pain I still face everyday, I have learned to surrender it all to Him and find ways to be happy again. As much as I trust the process, I am beginning to trust Him more than anything.

I have been hearing so many things lately because he's been talkng about me and his feelings to people. Well, I dont know his reasons for doing so. And people around us, being the normal them, are telling it to me. As much as I want to believe them, be happy or sad, I have learned to block it all. To just focus on myself. To be patient that if there's something i need to hear from him, it should come from him.

I am doing just fine. Really fine. I have never felt so fulfilled in my life. There are still anxieties, but I have been getting by and surviving each day with a happy heart.

SUP 2014?

Lying comfortably on my bed with a hot chocolate drink at the side table, while TV is off but not quiet because of the booming fireworks outside, I am reflecting on the year that was. I am making a round up of the wonderful and not-so wonderful things, and hoping, upon all the sparks on the sky right now, for a better 2014.

ON LOVE 

Ofcourse I have to write about it first because it has been really the highlight of my 2013. I found the "love that is worth fighting for". And found myself doing all the crazy, cheesy and weird things for the relationship. Making it the highlight of my year wasnt bad at all because it made me extremely happy. It has messed up, for so many times, but thanks to my amazing boyfriend who never gave up on us. So many to say, but my previous post and IG post will tell more about it. 

ON FAMILY

My mom left for Qatar few months ago. I am left with my Tita and my Ate (border) at home and things have been very different. Most of the responsibilities, specifically on money management, have been thrown on me. It's quite a tough aspect but I am getting by. Maturity has really donned on me.

ON HEALTH 

I am very proud to have lost the weight I have been dreading in for so many years since college. I have been jogging (on good weathers&non lazy days haha) and exercising as much as I can. I have been controlling my sweet tooth and gave up on rice and dinner for most days. 

ON TRAVEL

I have been to Baler and La Union (twice) because of surfing! Surfing became my new interest for this year. The badass feeling of standing at the middle of the sea, pushing and balancing yourself up and having a successful ride back to the shore - totally amazing! Plus sharing this interest with your love interest makes it more fun. Also, I have been to Davao because of work -such an opportunity!

ON SELF

I spoiled myself on material things this year. This iPAD I am using right now, The Killers concert, clothes I just fixed, food trips and travels - were materialized because of my savings. I also spent of alone time to ponder on the miseries and wipe it out of blessings. I took risks based on selfish and selfless choices. My faith too a lie-low this year which I am sorry. There hasnt been a grand change this year, I have learned to go with the flow and enjoy the 2013 ride. 

So whats up, 2014? Who knows! I can only HOPE. 

ON LOVE.. Keep it stronger this year and for more years! Lessen the misunderstandings and push for more mature decisions. Make more meaningful memories with him is our goal together. 

ON FAMILY.. I am not quite sure when my parents will come back here in Manila. But what I can really do is to keep the house in order. 

ON HEALTH.. I swear on all the hot Victoria Secret models, I will be fit this year! The aim is to wear a bikini without hesitations. Stop all the lazy thoughts, kick myself out to jog and sweat more. Control the sweet temptations and eat green! Yeaaah.

ON TRAVEL.. Have more surf trips! Spend more weekends outside. Take roadtrips with friends. Which leads to my 2014 goal - travel internationally! Crossing my fingers.

ON SELF.. Keep improving - every year's note to self. To lay it down: make a career move -outward&upward. Bringing my old competitive leader-self in me. Take more risks but save up for the next years. 

It was a good ride. Like surfing, I have reach the shore again. Time to paddle up back to center of the ocean, wait for the best wave and push myself up, balance through and enjoy the ride. 

Hey 2014, you are bright!